A Guide to Expressing Condolences

I consider myself a tactful talker — however, sometimes I am tongue-tied. Usually these situations involve expressing condolences to someone who has recently lost a loved one. I am always so flummoxed. Do I offer words of encouragement or advice {“Everything will be okay”}? Do I just say “I’m sorry”? Unfortunately, these are questions that we’ll all have to ask ourselves eventually, which is why I am so pleased to have Bonnie from Mango Salute with us today. She has written some wonderful pointers on expressing condolences, specifically in condolence cards: A Guide to Expressing Condolences It can be quite difficult to know what words to use in a sympathy card; there is no doubt that we want to choose carefully and bring comfort to the bereaved. However, knowing what to say can be difficult, and is influenced by many things from your relationship with the person who has died and the bereaved, to the circumstances of death. Before starting to write there are a few things to consider:

• Who was the person who died and the circumstances?

• What was their relationship with the bereaved?

• What is your relationship with these people?

• Are there any special circumstances, religious, cultural and or personal considerations?

• What do you think the mourners will appreciate from you?

Now roughly write down what you think you’d like to say, point form is fine. The next step is to refine your thoughts and put these into their final form:

• What will my card look like?

• Should I include a recorded message? What will I put in it?

• How should I start my card?

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